WILL: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
MARILYN: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
WILL: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.
Park Staff member and the Judge talk about Jury duty....
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don't want to be away from my job at the park that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
Park Manager to potential Work Camper: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Work Camper: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Sign Outside The Park Store:
will be given Espresso
and a free kitten!
A woman met the guy in charge of the worship service at the RV park and asked him: "Does the church service welcome all denominations?"
"Yes," he replied, "but we prefer tens and twenties."
A man wrote a letter to a small RV park in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to bring him and keep him in my RV with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the RV manager, who said, "I've been operating this RV park for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal anything from the park store. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out and not pay his bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at our park. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you are welcome to stay here, too.
Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn't working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was.
The husband replied: "In the five weeks that we've been in the RV together, we haven't been able to agree on a single thing."
The judge turned to the wife: "Have you anything to say?"
She answered: "It's been six weeks, your honor."
RV Park Activity Director Guidelines:
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
A husband and wife were sitting around the campfire chatting with friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I'm listening."
A guy was applying for a position at an RV park. In filling out a job application he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered yes to the previous question, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
The new workamper at the park came into the office late again, an hour late! The park's manager was waiting for him. "What's the story this time Frank?', he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change.
"Frank sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning boss. The wife decided to drive me to the office in our golf cart. She got ready in ten minutes, but then drove the cart into the lake. Rather then let you down, I swam across the lake - look my clothes are still wet - I ran over to the maintenance building and had Jim drive me in his truck, but it ran out of gas - I found a skateboard near the playground but the wheel broke and I fell down and injured my leg and then old man Jensen carried me here piggyback.
"How about a jacket?" he asked Alice who was working at the store.
She showed him one with the park logo for $75.00.
"That's a bit much" Jack said, so Alice returned with a sweatshirt for $35.00.
"That's still quite a bit," he still complained!
Becoming annoyed, she brought out a T-shirt for $18.00.
"What I mean," said Jack, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
Alice handed him a mirror.
Ten things to talk about when
you're sitting around the campfire.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle
UNWRITTEN PARK RULE
For couples who disagree with each other while in the park ...... Any argument that a man and a woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word. Anything a man says afterward is the beginning of a new argument.
Recently, a man put his RV in reverse and accidentally backed it into a wall. He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper. A few days later, he did it again. "I'm so embarrassed," he moaned, reaching for the phone. "Why not tell him it was me this time" his wife suggested. "Maybe I will," he said while dialing.
"It worked the last time."
Last summer, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go they pulled into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
Will & Marilyn were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Marilyn woke Will up and said, “Will, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.” Will replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” Marilyn said, “And what do you deduce from that?” Will replied, “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” And Marilyn said, “Will, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!
no use permitted without written permission
Things to think about on a rainy day at the park:
Why can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance?
Why are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink?
Why do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke?
Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage?
Why do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place?
Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight? A little boy was sitting outside the RV park store eating one snickers candy bar after another, when an older man walked up and said: "You shouldn't be eating so much candy, it'll rot your teeth, it's just bad for you to eat so much candy."
The little boy looked up and said: "My grandfather lived to be 95 years old". The older man asked: "Oh? by eating snickers candy bars?" The little boy said: "No......by minding his own business."